Sunday

Eve Online – I heard I was dead

Filed under PC

When I set up my character in Eve Online, I decided to create a guy I could relate to and one for which I could create a vague back story. As it turns out, naming him “Dirk Plisskin” (distant relation of the venerable, tight-panted bad ass Snake Plisskin) was a wise move. Like his ancient forefather everyone has heard he was dead, but in Dirk’s case they were usually right.

Dirk spends  lot of time dead, and as much time re-purchasing ships and equipment. His is a life of run/shoot/die/repeat, like Counterstrike with spaceships. The death toll is now at eight and climbing near daily, and his kill count remains a black hole of nothingness. In fact he has yet to so much as damage anyone in PvP combat though it’s not for lack of trying. He’s had deaths in Ibis’. Deaths in Kestrels. Deaths in Rifters. Deaths in Thrashers. Deaths in pods. Rumor has it he slipped in the shower and died once too but that remains unconfirmed, and Dirk isn’t talking.

The name Dirk Plisskin came from a mix of Snake Plisskin and the Douglas Adams character Dirk Gently. It’s no surprise then that the first ship was dubbed “Dirk’s Gently” in homage to Adam’s character and it’s a naming scheme that has stuck. The inclusion of roman numerals after “Dirk’s Gently” being both a way to maintain a semblance of stability from ship to ship, and also providing a grim but realistic count of past miscalculations.

Dirk makes his home in Arnon, a nicely located and safe-enough 0.6 area just a couple of jumps from his primary scavenging sector,  a much more inhospitable 0.2 section of space that is really far, far out of his league. Warp in, kill a rat or two then empty their cargo hold, salvage the rest then run away. Run away like a man. At this point he’s a guppy amongst sharks, and his survival is 20% dependent on skill, and 80% on luck. Those numbers could get flipped if he operated back to the Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood that is high-sec of course, but Dirk Plisskin doesn’t roll that way. He craves the danger, plus being reborn as a clone every other day makes him giggle. Giggle like a man.

If you’re a pirate and you see “Dirk Plisskin” flying around in a ship called “Dirk’s Gently VIII” (as of this writing), give the guy a break. Tell him you heard he was dead, then fly on. You’ll smile, he’ll smile and you can say you cross paths with a legend.