Wednesday

Consoles

I enjoy kicking people off buildings

This site needs some more content whilst the last bugs get ironed out, so let’s talk Crackdown.

It’s been a rather long time since I started cracking down, but I recently decided the poor people of Crackdown City (or whatever it’s called) have suffered my absence long enough. The game has had a bit of an odd history of enjoyment with me. I totally missed the boat on it until sometime after release when meeper (yes, the other guy on this site) suggested I check it out. I recall looking at a trailer and being less than impressed, but the online co-op thing sold me and I picked it up for $25.

First hour in and I was honestly full of meh. The cars felt too light. It was really hard to kick people in the groin without missing a bunch of times. The visuals looked like they were going for something realistic, but couldn’t pull it off so opted for a faux-cartoony look on the last day of development. I wasn’t impressed, but I played on intent on getting my twenty five bucks worth. By the time I had spent several hours super-jumping all over the city, I was unexpectedly hooked. There’s that damned sound. If you’ve played Crackdown you know it, the sound you hear when you’re near one of the blue orbs. You can’t see the thing, but you know it’s close from that damned sound. I love it. There’s also the satisfying “bling” of getting a green orb. Somehow it’s the aural equivalent of popping a bubble on a sheet of bubble wrap. I will find all of them. I must find all of them. Beyond that, the explosions are so satisfying I can’t help but kill civilians just to see them and once you get the hang of it kicking people in the groin is not only easy but delightful as well. Bravo.

Despite my sudden appreciation of this game, I cleared out the first two islands of bad guys completely then got a bad case of GTA4-itus and sadly, I walked away from Crackdown entirely. Now that I’ve made the streets of Liberty City safe again (well, I finished the main story anyway) I found myself randomly thinking about that bling sound and about kicking people off of buildings. I realized that I had unfinished business. It’s been about a week of on-and-off playing and as of last night I am finally down to the boss. Wang, leader of the Shai Gen. Yes, his name is Wang. Grow up. I made it up to him twice, and without getting into any spoilers for those who have yet to clean up the city I’ll just say that:

A) I came to within a couple of bullets/kicks of beating that old bastards ass.

B) Wang is entirely deserving of the name, because he’s a real prick.

Tonight I shall seek my vengeance. Tonight I shall be a hero. Tonight I shall kick an old man off a building.